Call Your Grandparents

On intergenerational relationships, tattooing and abolition

Dianne Mansfield showing me the first tattoo she did on herself, January 2025

I lost my Situ this past October and it still doesn’t feel real. I didn’t want to start this piece with death. But speaking of her passing doesn’t even feel like speaking of death. It feels like repeating a strange fact hoping that it might sink in. I still feel the urge to call her, ask for her expert advice on making baklawa and Syrian bread. I want to talk to her about football, hear her chide me on how I “used to be beautiful” and how she doesn’t understand what I’m doing with my life only to laugh, sigh “Ya Weleh!” and tell me she loves me and just wants me to be happy.

My Situ Louise, who I recently lost, and some of her jewelry. My wrist tattoo says “Situ” which means grandmother in Arabic.

Losing her is something thats still sinking in. But thankfully I have so many living elders who guide me, spend time with me, tease me and ask me questions. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my blood family. And I’m forever grateful to my chosen family that’s seen me and held me down for the majority of my life. Chosen siblings, aunties, uncles and grandparents. The tradition of chosen family in queer community is the lifeblood of how we survive and it’s one I hope to pass on.

Last year after getting dropped off at the airport by my beloved elder Leo Zulueta, he joked “Hope you had a good time hanging out with grandma and grandpa!” And I did. In fact I still can’t believe how lucky I am for their friendship. My relationships with Leo and his partner Dianne Mansfield are some of the most important relationships in my life. I make an effort to see them every time I’m in the midwest, spend hours smoking weed and listening to every story, and looking through Dianne’s photos. There aren’t enough words to describe how grateful I am to know both of them and to be able to spend time together. I feel so fully seen by both of them and have learned so much about myself through our friendship.

Leo and Dianne (and Girdie) in their living room last month.

Leo breaks it down to me like this. “Sema, I want you to understand what the gay community has done for tattooing. Full body coverage? That is directly from the gay underground. Sailors weren’t getting full body tattoos, tattooing their face and neck and it wasn’t the working class Englishmen either. It came from the deep history of humanity. Traditions that were long forgotten (in western memory) were resurfaced by queer people who were brave enough to go against the grain. And they took shit for it! It was only after that people started to say “Hey that’s actually pretty cool” Getting piercings and truly modifying their body with tattoos. And no one’s going to tell that story. Because a lot of them aren’t here to tell it themselves. So many people lost to AIDs and suicide. And the guys that did make it aren’t going to give them that credit” *** (paraphrased but this is how I wrote it down in my journal after our conversation)

Leo recently put out a book with Hardy Marks Publications - The Black Wave. The book is an archive of Leo’s life work and career. And more than half of the photos in the book were taken by Dianne. A true collaboration. When Leo was asked to give advice to the next generation of Filipino tattooers at Humble Beginnings - a Filipino owned tattoo shop in San Jose that was hosting an after party to the book release - Leo said “Honor your ancestors, follow your heart and do the right thing” words that are so simple that have clearly shaped Leo’s life work.

Just a few weeks after my last visit with Leo and Dianne, the tattoo world lost legendary tattooer Jack Rudy - a close friend to both of them. Dianne wrote on her instagram “Long may his stories live on!” Jack Rudy’s passing still feels like such a huge grief as tattooers write eulogies to commemorate his life and work. And so many elders in tattooing who are still living haven’t gotten the respect or recognition they deserve. So many of us younger tattooers are standing on the shoulders of giants like Leo, Dianne and Jack - yet rarely pay homage to the tattooers that have come before us.

A photo I took of Madame Chinchilla at Triangle Tattoo (sorry its so blurry!)

A few months ago I also had the opportunity to visit Madame Chinchilla at the Triangle Tattoo Museum in Fort Bragg. What an incredibly sweet person. It so happened to be her 79th birthday! Me and my friends went to a bakery and got her favorite shortbread cookies, showed her our tattoos and did our best to absorb some of her vast knowledge of tattoo history. I highly recommend making the trip to visit her and Mr. G, if you haven’t already.

I also had the great honor of tattooing my revolutionary elders and friends Laura Whitehorn and Susie Day. It was both of their first times getting tattooed! I met Laura through doing advocacy work with RAPP (Release Aging People in Prison). The work RAPP does is invaluable, their goal is to end life imprisonment in the United States. “By organizing community power to free incarcerated elders, we work to uproot a system of endless punishment that fuels mass incarceration and damages Black and other communities of color.”

Laura and Susie after getting their first tattoos with my partner Parissah who now works at RAPP

My elders inspire, challenge and support me. They have the best sense of humor and perspectives I so desperately need. I hope we don’t miss out on the valuable time and conversations we can be having with our elders. And I hope to live in a world where every elder is deeply honored, supported and free.

You can learn more about RAPP’s work and how to get involved here

You can find Leo’s new book here

And you can book flash appointments here or email me at sema.tats@gmail.com I’m booking March and April in NYC. If you want to get tattooed in LA I’ll be working with my sib Jesse Jarmillo at Sacred Fire Studio April 10th, 11th, 15th and 16th

Also my amazing coworker Haitham has lots of time right now. Don’t miss out on getting tattooed by a queer Palestinian artist who is just the best in every way.

Here’s some tattoos I did this week:

Thank you,

Nassim